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Breaking up rationally

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Abstract
The end of a long-term romantic relationship ranks among the most stressful and momentous events in life. Thus, the decision of whether to break up with someone whom one has been with for many years should generally be made very carefully. Unfortunately, decision theory is often thought to be unable to provide rational guidance in such high-stake life choices due to the outcomes' presumed transformative character. The present paper shows how agents can rationally decide whether to leave their romantic partner even if the decision is transformative. It does so by using a novel five-level account of transformative decision-making, which can also be used for other key life choices, and which is the first to integrate in a systematic way several approaches for making (certain types of) transformative decisions that have been proposed in recent years.
Keywords
Romantic relationships, Breakups, Rational choice theory, Transformative experiences, Rationality, LIFE SATISFACTION, TRANSFORMATIVE-EXPERIENCE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DIVORCE, INFIDELITY, IMPACT, MARRIAGES, DISTRESS, COUPLES, EXPECT

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Please use this url to cite or link to this publication:

MLA
Villiger, Daniel, and Bouke De Vries. “Breaking up Rationally.” JOURNAL OF ETHICS, 2025, doi:10.1007/s10892-024-09505-5.
APA
Villiger, D., & De Vries, B. (2025). Breaking up rationally. JOURNAL OF ETHICS. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10892-024-09505-5
Chicago author-date
Villiger, Daniel, and Bouke De Vries. 2025. “Breaking up Rationally.” JOURNAL OF ETHICS. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10892-024-09505-5.
Chicago author-date (all authors)
Villiger, Daniel, and Bouke De Vries. 2025. “Breaking up Rationally.” JOURNAL OF ETHICS. doi:10.1007/s10892-024-09505-5.
Vancouver
1.
Villiger D, De Vries B. Breaking up rationally. JOURNAL OF ETHICS. 2025;
IEEE
[1]
D. Villiger and B. De Vries, “Breaking up rationally,” JOURNAL OF ETHICS, 2025.
@article{01JRVPCYXYCSQ7XMQZ9NWVTWNP,
  abstract     = {{The end of a long-term romantic relationship ranks among the most stressful and momentous events in life. Thus, the decision of whether to break up with someone whom one has been with for many years should generally be made very carefully. Unfortunately, decision theory is often thought to be unable to provide rational guidance in such high-stake life choices due to the outcomes' presumed transformative character. The present paper shows how agents can rationally decide whether to leave their romantic partner even if the decision is transformative. It does so by using a novel five-level account of transformative decision-making, which can also be used for other key life choices, and which is the first to integrate in a systematic way several approaches for making (certain types of) transformative decisions that have been proposed in recent years.}},
  author       = {{Villiger, Daniel and De Vries, Bouke}},
  issn         = {{1382-4554}},
  journal      = {{JOURNAL OF ETHICS}},
  keywords     = {{Romantic relationships,Breakups,Rational choice theory,Transformative experiences,Rationality,LIFE SATISFACTION,TRANSFORMATIVE-EXPERIENCE,DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,DIVORCE,INFIDELITY,IMPACT,MARRIAGES,DISTRESS,COUPLES,EXPECT}},
  language     = {{eng}},
  pages        = {{22}},
  title        = {{Breaking up rationally}},
  url          = {{http://doi.org/10.1007/s10892-024-09505-5}},
  year         = {{2025}},
}

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